the learning student

I was reading through Farhanah Sultan’s blogpost on her need to lose weight, and she effectively drove her point home by  showing a picture of herself when she just entered college and how she looks now. Well, for those who know me in person, I bet you know what’s coming…. what happened to Farhanah, is probably a  minor case of what happened to me. Yikes!! Weight gain upon entering college is almost a sure thing for the majority of us, especially to the guys, who looked great after physical training in the army. But my case is indeed a little severe…

Well, Farhanah’s blog post hit me like a big truck smashing into an elephant as I lay down on my bed with my pretty white cat since morning. I have no idea what happened to me since last night. The last thing I remembered was kneeling in front of the toilet bowl, trying to vomit out every single grain of briyani rice that my mom bought home. No… I am not bulimic, duh!! My body rejected the mutton braced with fatty oil and acids…..  I use to love the afghan briyani so much man… haihh

Yeahhhhh, you bet. My health is at stake now. If I don’t do anything about my weight, I guess such occurences will be more frequent. Having headaches and cramps around the chest region is something which I have experienced during my internship, and the pain got so severe that I have to stop walking and hold on to something.

Our physical health is all that we have control over. Spiritually we excel via experiences of our physical body. If the physical body is weak, then how do we want to gain closeness to Him?

[from 'the Prophet's Isra' and Mi'raj',

by Shaykh Muhammad 'Alawi al-Maliki, translation by Dr Gibril Fouad Haddad]

Allah Continued:

I have sent you for all people, without exception, a bearer of glad tidings and a warner.

I have expanded your breast for you and relieved you of  your burden and exalted your name; and I am not mentioned except you are mentioned with me.

I have made your Community the best Community ever brought out for the benefit of mankind.

I have made your Community a mean and a middle.

I have made your Community in truth the first and the last of all Communities.

I have made public address (al-khutba) impermissible for your Community unless they first witness that you are My servant and Messenger.

I have placed certain people in your Community with Evangels for hearts.  (footnote 36)

I have made you the first Prophet created and the last one sent and the first one heard in My court.

I have given you Seven of the Oft-Repeated which I gave to no other Prophet before you. (footnote 37)

I have given you the last verses of Surat al-Baqara, which constitute a treasure from under My Throne that I gave to no other Prophet before you.

I have given you the Kawthar.

I have given you eight lots: Islam, Emigration (al-hijra), Jihad, Charity (al-sadaqa), Fasting Ramadhan, Ordering Good, and Forbidding Evil; and the day I created the heavens and the earth I made obligatory upon you and upon your community fifty prayers: therefore establish them, you and your Community.

(Al-Shami added:) Abu Hurayra said that Allah’s Messenger said:

My Lord has preferred me over everyone else (faddalani rabbi)

He has sent me as a mercy to the worlds and to all people without exception, a bearer of glad tidings and a warner.

He has thrown into the hearts of my enemies at a distance of one month’s travel.

He has made spoils of war lawful for me while they were not lawful for anyone before me.

The entire earth has been made a ritually pure place of prostration for me.

I was given the words that open, those that close, and those that are comprehensive in meaning (foonote 38)

My Community was shown to me and there is non of the followers and the followed but he is known to me.

I saw that they would come to a people that wear hair covered sandals.

I saw that they would come to a people of large faces and small eyes as if they had been pierced with a needle.

Nothing of what they would face in the future has been kept hiddent from me.

And I have been ordered to perform fifty prayers daily.

And he had been given three particular merits : He is the Master of Messengers (sayyid al-Mursalin), the leader of the Godwary (imam al-muttaqin), and the chief of Those With Signs of Light on Their Faces and Limbs (qa’id al-ghurr al-muhajjalin).

36: Repositories of Allah’s Book

37: Surat al-Fatiha

38: I was given the apex of eloquence

39: untanned sandals

This marathon that you are running, is no longer about strategies, its about determination.

Yes, you strongly believe in fate. We all believe in fate.

Fate brought you to the race, but now you have to decide.

You may choose to leave everything to fate and stop running. This may be your fate.

You may also choose to go all out for it, and when you complete the race, whether you win or you lose, it doesn’t matter to you. This may also be your fate.

Ultimately 10 years from now, whatever decision you have made at this point of time, will decide whether you will regret, or you knew you have tried your best.

- Your best friend will always be sticking up for you -

Mankind has this gift called intuition. No need to use the watch lah!

‘Adil, as mentioned by Syed Naquib al-attas is  placing the right things in its appropriate place. Else, you are consider zhalim. In the recent months, this entire idea of ‘adil, has manifested in my life  in a specific form - giving people all the information they need. The reason why people become reactive sometimes, is not because they perceive that the amount of  money, remunerations or rewards  does not justify the amount of work they do or the punishment they recieve. It is simply due to the  lack of respect and dignity in the manner we treat them, the people who are affected by our decisions.

What we can learn here is that we should take time to explain why we decide on things, else people feel crappy about themselves.  Don’t decide on things if you are not ready to explain, it simply means that you yourself is not prepared to make that decision.

15% down the drain,

I thought to myself as I stared into the score sheet of the test papers, seeing the stark difference between my score and the rest. The entire mistake is attributed to just one cause – making a wrong assumption. Mind you, a lot of thought have been made before I finally made that assumption. I had two sets of full worked out solutions 10 minutes before the time is up, one with the assumption that the process is steady state , while the other non-steady state.  That very question was discussed earlier in the day, and we concluded that it has to be steady state. I convinced myself 5 minutes before the time is up, that the solution has to be steady state. Yet, it is a wrong assumption, yup, non steady state! And the only reason this assumption is right, is because the analysis is based upon initial conditions of the solar pond, which is nowhere stated in the question.

What lessons can be learnt?

Learn to Accept

In life, you do make mistakes, that you simply can’t rectify. In the story of the sad test, I couldn’t find a corrective action, something that I must ensure to avoid repeating that very mistake. I suppose thats how things are in real life too. Things are very blurred, actions disguised, thoughts surpressed. So when you make such erroneous assumption, you just have to learn that you do make mistakes. Furthermore, your most valuable posessions are often things that you can’t change in life; variables that are totally beyond your control. They are things that you have to just accept. Your parents, for example, are god given, so be grateful that you do have parents.

Patience

Learning to cope with the “downside” of life is a process that one continuosly face. Some are a result of your very own action,  while others are due to what people around you do. And out of those that are a result of your own actions, part of them are done consciously (and you have to take account for these), the rest are done due to a lack of foresight and bad judgement. At times, you just have no idea why things turn out that way. Remember now, that patience is a virtue, coping to deal with such events, will only make you into someone better.

Motivation

Expectancy theory states that when effort does not lead to performance, and thus outcome, you tend to lose motivation. Despite the amount of work put into test preparations and exams, it doesn’t neccesarily translate to good results. Thats how students get demotivated. So are other things in life. When effort doesn’t translate into outcome, you lose the drive, and desire, and thus love. Understanding what motivates people is thus very important. Else you lose friends, company and even your family.

Assumptions don’t Work all the time

Realities in life are seldom found. You make assumptions every day, whether you know it or not, like it or not. You assume you car will work in the morning and leave house 15 minutes before the school bell rings day after day. You assume that your brother will have no issues using his computer for your project when you get back home. You assume, your friend have no problems at all with you just because he is silent. In reality assumptions may be wrong. And when things fail, then you know how badly you shouldn’t have made that assumption.

Learn to Move on – I suppose what can be learnt here is that life goes on, regardless of how things turn out to be.

May the strength be with all of Us.

My management module lectures seems like a story-telling class yet the concepts though subtle get impressed in my mind more than many of the modules I had taken before. What better way can one convey his ideas, feelings and thoughts other than by telling stories! Here are  three reasons why telling  stories are important.

#1 – Stories convey meaning

You can obtain information, statistics and data from almost anywhere now, but those figures don’t make sense if you are unable to convey the meaning behind them.  By spinning an amazing story, you are able to create more meaning to those numbers and communicate the vision and your strategic plans to the masses. Why do kids ask their parents to tell them stories? Its because kids love to piece the stories together like a jigsaw puzzle so that they understand.

Stories establishes the context of the information you have.

#2 – Stories are retained and cherished

Apart from the ability to convey meaning and understanding, stories are able to evoke people’s feelings.

The emotional impact that is brought forth from an anecdote, for example can trigger a spectrum of excitement and response. I recalled how the psychologist Mel Gill managed to convey the importance of change by telling the audience the popular tale of the wise men who never said no.

The OMG feeling… you can just nail that into the audience by telling a story…

#3 – Stories are powerful means of influencing others

The world largest religions – Islam and Christianity essentially provides accounts and parables in their religious texts. With that, people not only gain understanding, but the emotions stirred brought forth positive action. Tell a story, and you move a mountain, they say. The use of imagery and vivid illustrations can paint a clear picture of what to do. People are more convinced of the possibilities of your new policies and actions when they can relate themselves to the characters in your story.

Now, How do you tell a story then?

Here is what Paul Sloane from Stepcase Lifehack has to say about telling stories, enjoy =)…

1. Introduce the characters. Stories involve people so describe them.
2. Set the scene. This often involves some challenge or difficulty that has to be overcome.
3. Explain what happened next and how the situation resolved itself.
4. Draw out any conclusions or lessons learnt.

Go through your own life and think about some of your most vivid memories, some of the difficulties or problems you faced, some of the funny or emotional things that happened to you.  What were the lessons you learned? We all have stories within us and sometimes we can enrich the lives of others if we tell a relevant story well. You have to be prepared to bare yourself, to share your feelings and frailties.  But by doing this sincerely you can gain enormous respect and sympathy from your audience. Do not short change your listeners; vividly describe your feelings, your emotions, your pain, your joy. They want to hear how bad it was, how scared you were, how surprised you were, what happiness you felt. Above all they want closure. They want to know what happened and why.

When, in later life, you think about your parents or grandparents what you will most likely remember are not the facts about their lives, nor details of their earnings, wealth or qualifications. You will remember the stories they told you; especially heart-warming stories about when they were growing up, their relationships with their parents, the mistakes they made, the adventures they had.

Build your own store of interesting stories. Be prepared to tell them in social and business contexts.  You can tell a personal story on all sorts of occasions – on a date or when giving a keynote talk. The stories about things that happened to you are the best. But interesting stories about other people are also worth retelling if they are really amusing or make a great point.

E. M. Forster explained it very simply. A fact is, ‘The queen died and the king died.’ A story is, ‘The queen died and the king died of a broken heart.’ When you want to convey a message, don’t think just in terms of giving information. Ask yourself how you can illustrate the message with examples and tales.  Use fewer facts and more stories.

My day started with a visit to a local Physically Disabled Center with NH, HS and SA to “cannibalize” some equipment for our design project. Then, I went to the Sultan Mosque to perform my Friday prayers with NH and HS while SA went to NUS.

Lesson #1

After that, NH needed to wait for his friend to shop for things at Bras Basah, while I intended to buy a miswak and a songkok, something which I wanted to buy since a month ago but did not get to do so.  Both of us were heading in the same direction, i.e. the Bugis MRT, and NH needed to wait for his friend, and so he accompanied me to buy these 2 items. Although most friends do accompany you to shop, given other commitments, they may not be able to do so. And so the first learning lesson that I can state here is that the ones who are your closest companions in this life are those that share similar goals and purposes. Naturally, it seem that there is a tendency that you develop love for some of your acquaintances while hatred and enmity for others, without you knowing or realizing it. According to the enlightened, this is a secret of the mechanism of the heart. Two hearts of similar purposes and goals grow fond of each other, while two hearts with a profound difference, will repel, and slowly manifest into the physical world. The way to overcome the latter is to be the proactive of the two and began supplicating and praying to God for the betterment and well being of the other.

Lesson #2

The first shop that we went to neither have the two items I was looking for, and the shop owner directed us to two shops at the 2nd entrance of the Sultan Mosque. We headed our way there, and found the miswak. Then, I began to search for the songkok. The one I had been wearing to classes and Friday prayers had been with me for years. And so, obviously I began my search by looking for that exact design. What this shows is that people in general find comfort in things that are familiar, and are resistant to consequences of change. Yesterday, met FS at the forum, and she ingeniously state that couples generally looked like each other, because they tend to look for someone who looks like their mothers, who in turn look like themselves. I wouldn’t agree 100% with this, but yea, probably, men do look for characteristics prevalent in their mothers in their future spouse.

Lesson #3

I then found the design that I wanted; the exact same one that I have been wearing. I then tried a few and found that the size is not suitable for my head (perhaps due to my long hair). I then saw another design, tried it on, and the size fits. I then ask NH whether it is appropriate, but he said that this one leaves behind “furs” on my hair. This is something which I didn’t notice, even with the mirror that the shop owner passed to me. Moral of the story is to always ask for a second opinion, probably the best critic amongst your companions, before making life’s most important decisions. This is even more important in matters as weighty as marriage for example.

Lesson #4

And so, me and NH headed to our third shop, and lo and behold, I found the songkok that I really wanted, with the right size. What can be learnt from this is that, you don’t necessarily find what you want the first time round. Patience is important. Something may seem perfect for you the first time but it may contain inherent defects. In other words, consult God, don’t settle for second choices, take your time and go to more shops while there is still time. . .

What a beautiful day. Thank you Allah for blessing me Today and Now.

One of the most important lessons that I learn in the Human Management module is the Maslow Hierachy of needs.

It is a study by Maslow on notable personalities including Albert Einstein and Frederick Douglas and the “healthiest one percent” of college student population.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is predetermined in order of importance.. a pyramid consisting of five levels: the first lower level is being associated with Physiological needs, while the top levels are termed growth needs associated with psychological needs. Deficiency needs must be met first. Once these are met, seeking to satisfy growth needs drives personal growth. The higher needs in this hierarchy only come into focus when the lower needs in the pyramid are met. Once an individual has moved upwards to the next level, needs in the lower level will no longer be prioritized. If a lower set of needs is no longer being met, the individual will temporarily re-prioritize those needs by focusing attention on the unfulfilled needs, but will not permanently regress to the lower level. For instance, a businessman at the esteem level who is diagnosed with cancer will spend a great deal of time concentrating on his health (physiological needs), but will continue to value his work performance (esteem needs) and will likely return to work during periods of remission.

- from wikipedia.org

From this pyramid, we will now understand ourselves and others better. Why are we driven to do some things more than others? Why do people behave in a certain manner when given a certain treatment? What makes some people (like the grand saints, and great scientists) more successful than others?

I believe that the successful put their time and efforts on utmost top of this pyramid – the self actualization. Many are in a delusion that they are constantly in need of the lower level needs due to a sickness that are very subtle.

In order to find out our state, ask ourselves what are we motivated by. Many will find themselves just one step before where they ideally should be…..

Photo from the StarGazer

Last Academic Semester, it was Aslaksen’s magnificent Heavenly Mathematics module. For my 5th Semester, this Human Capital Management Mod has made the most impact upon me. The entire module was conducted in a 13 session-seminar-style with 20 other participating classmates. It was definitely our passionate lecturer, Dr Winston Lee Piak Nam, a very experienced management trainer who made the class alive with the hands-on games and management role-play. Almost every week, we find him breaking the orderly arrangement of the classroom (yawnz) into a discussion-friendly setting( =) ) whereby all of us are able to see one another to share our thoughts on the concepts learnt in the previous class.

I had so many nice things to say about this module (SA will agree with me, he say his lecturer loves him so much), but lemme start with an overview of the topics covered today, =) I shall refrain talking about the project (a wonderful group effort, with NH and HS) as well as the reflection paper, for no special reason.

Thinking back, according to my rough interpretation (not looking at any “syllabus breakdown whatsoever) , the scope covered was essentially divided into three major parts,

[1] the environment (Summary: Be Aware, else you DIE!)

Every organization is subject and are influenced by both its internal and the external environment. Major topics discussed are the

- Globalization (Both the Good and the Bad as well as how people have responded to them) / Diversity (Importance in the workplace – the video: the peacock in the land of the penguins was shown to us in class – was truly a great eye opener!) The mini choose-your-favorite-tie session tells us that diversity is not only in the obvious- ethnic and gender; but also in our underlying and past experiences that affect our life choices. Diversity is very much a double-edged sword.

- Organization Life Cycle: Organization Birth/Organizational Growth/ Organization Decline /Stages of Group Development; this segment basically explains that for any organization to thrive it needs to have an awareness of which stage of organizational life cycle it is currently undergoing. Every Growth Development has its crisis, and every stage of organizational death has its remedy – though it gets harder and harder to pick up as you fall, so know that you have a problem early. The Stages of Group Development concepts was imprinted with a very intelligent “foreign ambassador’s building project” which has so many learning moments including the need for leadership (acknowledgment) and agreement (signing).

- How the world is changing: The New Economy and the three phases of socio-economic human development, i.e our transition into the knowledge age

[2] Management Styles / Organization Structure (Summary: Be a Great Leader!)

- At the peak of the discussion on the knowledge age, we were brought into perspective the changes in management styles in the past centuries; from the scientific management to the concept of a knowledge worker. Understanding how a knowledge worker works is very important; he/she is motivated with challenging tasks and roles

- we then were introduced to various organizational culture – essentially the cultures espoused by Arthur F Carmazz. During the reflection session the class expressed that the “Blame Culture” is one that seems very close to heart (we all experienced this), something that we all wish had never existed in any phase of our lives; and of course everyone’s dream working environment is the “power enriched culture” – especially to those who were thinking along the lines of research and engineering. We then were taught the concept of organizational values, and were then explained the conept of “tacit assumptions” a.k.a the “unwritten rules” in an organization

[3] The Self – You and Your Organization (Summary: Be a great team player)

- The transition was smooth, from the tacit assumptions, we were brought to the concept of tacit knowing (arguably called tacit knowledge): from what I understood it is a knowledge that is possessed but never realised by the owner; very fluid, but is essential for an organization.

- converting tacit knowledge into explicit knowledge is of utmost importance; it takes time but it will benefit the organization to a large extent

Peter Senge's the 5th Discipline

- Here we were brought into topics associated to learning – very interesting!- topics discussed include topics from the popular Peter Senge’s “the 5th Discipline” – and we dived into understanding about “learning disabilities”, and barriers to learning. We then were presented the importance of a double-loop learning approach and had a mini role-play on PDCA – ( Plan- Do – Check-Action!) Drill and the “Why Did that Student Fall?” Drama. Yeah, and I am the “Do Guy” who blames the “Check Girl” all the time.

- we then reach to, what I thought as the most profound part of the course – the self, which is very much sociology. Quite a “deep concept”, not easy to understand as stated by NH in his blog. But really, we all learn by play – learning who we are , which is “the “I” and game – what we meant to the other team players , the “me” (Mead’s Self Concept)

- We also learnt the Cooley’s “Looking Glass Self” – the search for our identity via interacting with others.

-The Johari’s Window was also introduced – essentially, how do we reduce the size of our “blind spots” thorugh feedback and good communication.

- We then expanded into career guide and topics; from how to conduct yourself in an interview to the know-hows of choosing “the career” of life. Career Competence must align with the core competence of your organization. The importance of education, certification and what titles like Beng (Bachelor of Engineering) and Meng meant are also covered. Here I suddenly fell into the realms of life- what do we want to achieve in the end?

- We concluded the module with one final role-play game of how an “external party” can work wonders for you and your organization. Think out of the box, be open minded and too many leader wannabes kill team spirit and organizational objectiveness.

Seems like a lot of concepts, but as I emphasized in the beginning, the lecturer was superb and flamboyant that everything was done with due depth covered; and most importantly in a fun and interesting manner. I would like to end this post with his translated (from chinese) quote:

“Learn until old Age!”